Can i just have 1 normal damn day? is it to much to ask for?
My house is a wreck, i feel like i got hit by a mack truck, and the thought alone of cleaning wears me out lol. I havent even gotten up to sew... i went in there... looked over my table, and came back to bed lol if im sewing today, it wont be til later. it has become a cycle for me... i manage to get up and start cleaning and sewing, til im wore out (without getting as much done as needed), then cant function again for 24 hours... by then, the house is a wreck, and if i dont at least work on the girls quilts, i lose what few sanity cells i have left lol I
I love this area, and do NOT want to move the girls to another school, but still havent found a general doctor here that will see me... im wondering if maybe the ER staff warns them lol i can see my picture on a poster at the office that points out, im too much work, for not enough pay, bossy, grouchy,stubborn, general pain in the a**. lol So far, ive had 2 say they cant help me, and ive lost count of the 1s that havent even bothered to call back. (funny, none can actually help anyway... just give me my referral to a new moron specialist and call in a few prescript monthly)
No tests needed, i came with my medical records... how hard is that? lol i know the drill though... when i do get a referral, it will begin again with tests.... tests to monitor... excuse me, but what exactly do you need to monitor? you can look at me and see the progression.. do we really need to play connect the dots between the scars and black holes in my brain?
I am the first to admit, NO, i am nowhere near suicidal, im probably the least suicidal person ant1 ever knows.... BUT... i do believe in mercy killings, and i do believe there are worse things than death.... I also know it is not my time. i also know that i wont be able to end it for myself and will haunt any1 else that does anyway. lol imma chicken lol
i dont bother wondering what i did wrong to deserve it... shit happens to every1... i actually prefer to believe this is me holding up a bargain i made somewhere down the line lol... yea, dont care, i admit im insane, it helps me, dont burst my bubble lol...
change subject lol... dont really want to deal with the religious discussions that may start... the whole "my god is better than your god" game rather disgusts me lol
2 more months and Robbie is free of the Army. 13 years and 2 deployments is enough for any1
Robbie getting out of the army is going to help somewhat... the "honeydew" list will be long for the first couple of weeks lol Im pushing for him to take a year to get the degree that he want.... add the degree to the 12 yrs experience, and the salary triples :D. i do find it funny that by getting out on medical causes his pay to more than double what it is now lol and wont be affected by any salary he makes in another job. I just remind him i want a house, a Horizon, and to go fabric shopping lol.
OK, ive whined enough, meds have kicked in enough guess i better start cleaning... cant disrupt the cycle lol
My house is a wreck, i feel like i got hit by a mack truck, and the thought alone of cleaning wears me out lol. I havent even gotten up to sew... i went in there... looked over my table, and came back to bed lol if im sewing today, it wont be til later. it has become a cycle for me... i manage to get up and start cleaning and sewing, til im wore out (without getting as much done as needed), then cant function again for 24 hours... by then, the house is a wreck, and if i dont at least work on the girls quilts, i lose what few sanity cells i have left lol I
I love this area, and do NOT want to move the girls to another school, but still havent found a general doctor here that will see me... im wondering if maybe the ER staff warns them lol i can see my picture on a poster at the office that points out, im too much work, for not enough pay, bossy, grouchy,stubborn, general pain in the a**. lol So far, ive had 2 say they cant help me, and ive lost count of the 1s that havent even bothered to call back. (funny, none can actually help anyway... just give me my referral to a new moron specialist and call in a few prescript monthly)
No tests needed, i came with my medical records... how hard is that? lol i know the drill though... when i do get a referral, it will begin again with tests.... tests to monitor... excuse me, but what exactly do you need to monitor? you can look at me and see the progression.. do we really need to play connect the dots between the scars and black holes in my brain?
I am the first to admit, NO, i am nowhere near suicidal, im probably the least suicidal person ant1 ever knows.... BUT... i do believe in mercy killings, and i do believe there are worse things than death.... I also know it is not my time. i also know that i wont be able to end it for myself and will haunt any1 else that does anyway. lol imma chicken lol
i dont bother wondering what i did wrong to deserve it... shit happens to every1... i actually prefer to believe this is me holding up a bargain i made somewhere down the line lol... yea, dont care, i admit im insane, it helps me, dont burst my bubble lol...
change subject lol... dont really want to deal with the religious discussions that may start... the whole "my god is better than your god" game rather disgusts me lol
2 more months and Robbie is free of the Army. 13 years and 2 deployments is enough for any1
Robbie getting out of the army is going to help somewhat... the "honeydew" list will be long for the first couple of weeks lol Im pushing for him to take a year to get the degree that he want.... add the degree to the 12 yrs experience, and the salary triples :D. i do find it funny that by getting out on medical causes his pay to more than double what it is now lol and wont be affected by any salary he makes in another job. I just remind him i want a house, a Horizon, and to go fabric shopping lol.
OK, ive whined enough, meds have kicked in enough guess i better start cleaning... cant disrupt the cycle lol
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