Taking a Break from the World

First thing i was taught on my favorite quilting site was:
there are no stupid questions.. other than the unasked ones. And by asking 1 question, i managed to offend ppl and made them leave. I never meant to offend any1, and am deeply hurt that i have. I asked my account to be removed, and have begun gathering everything that was sent to me by members to return to the 1s that sent them. I do not feel it would be right to keep them, if i wont be there to post my progress for them to see.
I am truly grateful for everything i have learned and will miss many members there. But i am not the kind of person to take offending ppl i truly care about very well, and decided it best for me just to leave.

I will return to my isolation. Its rather comforting to know i cant offend any1 if im not around any1.
I will be taking a break from blogging for the time being.

Planning Tanishas Quilt

Ive been so worried about starting Tanishas purple quilt...
ive been gathering fabrics, and cutting them into strips.
got notes from a friend on french braid. i separated
the purples by their base color... blue purples in 1 stack..
pinky purples in another. thought i can make
alternating rows between the 2 for a complete design. :D
needed a visual of my plan.. SOoooooo....
lol I spent a couple hours in photoshop with the image of drawn
(wasnt bad, she said wonky drawing, but looked fine for it :D)
pattern and proceeded to butcher it by making 56 copies
of the image. i paint bucketed in shades of each set from
pale to almost black. Lined them up with narrow
strips of black and blend (paint bucket with brushes

over it).... I didnt bother changing the colors
for the center squares.. i was thinking
embroidered flowers :D
Its VERY crooked and rather sad looking...

but i got my visual... only thing i do notice that i left
out is i should put a top and bottom strip of black
with the pattern (like the sides) before adding
the outer borders... I figure as pitiful as the visual is...
the quilt should be gorgeous :D So.. im off to cut more strips
:D

Success lol

Shortly after moving here... we got Cable, Netfix, and joined Disney DVD club... about a month ago, we decided to shut off our cable.. we hooked a computer to the tv and figured the combination of Dvds, Netflix, and other online sources would be enough for for us. it has been 2 weeks since the cable went away... results: theres not as much arguing over what they will watch, they have to agree on something or make a deal between them (you can watch this, if i can watch this kind of thing) tv on our schedule, not broadcast times...pausing is much more acceptable to them when i ask them to do something than missing part of what they were watching (so less complaining over putting their clothes away) :D .... wish i had thought of this before :D

I sent Robbie to the store last night.. he actually done really great without a list or even knowing what he was supposed to get,... still needed a few other things, so we made another trip.. but he got almost everything... cant fault him for the second trip. Every few months i go on a cleaning supply spree... i get EVERYTHING... then i have it on hand at all times. Only thing he was told was cleaning supplies.. the second trip was mostly for things i wouldnt have expected him to think of. But the fact that he even got a big bottle of vinegar amazed me :D Second trip, i grabbed another basket, some comet, more paper towels, febreeze, and scented oil air fresheners...

Never try to name or make sense out of a rant lol

Can i just have 1 normal damn day? is it to much to ask for?
My house is a wreck, i feel like i got hit by a mack truck, and the thought alone of cleaning wears me out lol. I havent even gotten up to sew... i went in there... looked over my table, and came back to bed lol if im sewing today, it wont be til later. it has become a cycle for me... i manage to get up and start cleaning and sewing, til im wore out (without getting as much done as needed), then cant function again for 24 hours... by then, the house is a wreck, and if i dont at least work on the girls quilts, i lose what few sanity cells i have left lol I

I love this area, and do NOT want to move the girls to another school, but still havent found a general doctor here that will see me... im wondering if maybe the ER staff warns them lol i can see my picture on a poster at the office that points out, im too much work, for not enough pay, bossy, grouchy,stubborn, general pain in the a**. lol So far, ive had 2 say they cant help me, and ive lost count of the 1s that havent even bothered to call back. (funny, none can actually help anyway... just give me my referral to a new moron specialist and call in a few prescript monthly)
No tests needed, i came with my medical records... how hard is that? lol i know the drill though... when i do get a referral, it will begin again with tests.... tests to monitor... excuse me, but what exactly do you need to monitor? you can look at me and see the progression.. do we really need to play connect the dots between the scars and black holes in my brain?

I am the first to admit, NO, i am nowhere near suicidal, im probably the least suicidal person ant1 ever knows.... BUT... i do believe in mercy killings, and i do believe there are worse things than death.... I also know it is not my time. i also know that i wont be able to end it for myself and will haunt any1 else that does anyway. lol imma chicken lol

i dont bother wondering what i did wrong to deserve it... shit happens to every1... i actually prefer to believe this is me holding up a bargain i made somewhere down the line lol... yea, dont care, i admit im insane, it helps me, dont burst my bubble lol...
change subject lol... dont really want to deal with the religious discussions that may start... the whole "my god is better than your god" game rather disgusts me lol

2 more months and Robbie is free of the Army. 13 years and 2 deployments is enough for any1
Robbie getting out of the army is going to help somewhat... the "honeydew" list will be long for the first couple of weeks lol Im pushing for him to take a year to get the degree that he want.... add the degree to the 12 yrs experience, and the salary triples :D. i do find it funny that by getting out on medical causes his pay to more than double what it is now lol and wont be affected by any salary he makes in another job. I just remind him i want a house, a Horizon, and to go fabric shopping lol.
OK, ive whined enough, meds have kicked in enough guess i better start cleaning... cant disrupt the cycle lol

Thailyns Quilt

When i started this venture into making quilts for the girls, I had a talk with Thai (my 13 yr old). She decided, she wants 1 big enough for a big bed, in mostly blues/teals, with stars. Worked for me. So i went in search for different star block patterns, and discovered alot of stars are made from 4 smaller blocks. I made this 24" block out of 4, 12" blocks that i altered a small bit.




We loved it, but she found others she liked, so i kept making different 1s she picked out, in various sizes.






Then I found a block called "Mothers Life" , that I will be putting in all of their quilts.


I thought i was done with making blocks for it, but have decided i will have to make a couple more to reach proper size.

Its coming along great, and she is loving it so far :D
But I had to take a break lol. Ill get back to it in a couple days :D

Intro.

OK, before starting this blog, there are a few things that should be explained :D
Without going into ugly medical issues, I will just say, I am terminal, and before i die, i will become basically a completely dependent vegetable.... my choice is a rutabaga :D i figure its a safe 1 :D
No, it is not fair... but we all have our problems and quite frankly.. SHIT HAPPENS!!! and deciding to either accept it or not... doesnt change the fact.
I see humor in everything, but more so in my own life than other places. I laugh at things that most ppl find a bit disturbing.. But if i cant laugh at things like falling face first into a door frame, i end up miserable. lol No, i am not a strong woman, I do what i have to do to cope.
i am 38 yrs old with 5 children, ages 20, 18, 13, 8, and 5, they are my life. I have become obsessed with leaving them things to remember me by. So, I quilt. Right now I am working on making each of them a quilt for their beds, when i am finished with those, i plan to make 2 baby quilts for each male and female, for any grandbabies that will come along. with a few smaller projects on the side.. I also love doing computer graphics, when im not in complete OCD mode to finish the quilts lol.
I do not pretend my work is fabulous, i am neither blind nor dillusional lol but it is mine and is done for those i love dearly.
I am hoping not to run into overly rude ppl on here that are determined to make others feel bad for pointing out all their mistakes, as i can point them all out myself, and dont need any help with it :D
I am here for my own personal blogging reasons, as every1 else is :D Sometimes it will be about quilting, sometimes just life. My blog, means i can use it for anything :D i can be happy, or vent.. and with me, theres no telling what im doing on any given day lol and am likely to ramble, making no sense to others at times lol. I embraced my insanity a while back. :D
comments are welcome, but please show the same amount of courtesy as you want for yourself :D If i want to feel belittled, i will call my ex lol